Why You Reached Out for Help... But Never Scheduled the First Session

You called and left a voicemail to a therapist who came highly recommended. You wrote the email to an executive coach. And then… nothing.

You didn’t schedule. You didn’t follow through. You told yourself you’d do it later, or that things had calmed down. That now wasn’t the time, or that things actually weren’t even that bad.

But beneath the logistics and excuses, there is often something deeper at play: the fear of what might happen, or what we might uncover, if we actually start.

This inner conflict is incredibly common, especially among high performers - people who are particularly used to being in control and fixing things on their own. For them, the act of reaching out often signals a significant moment. Something inside knows it’s time. That something needs to shift, or that they can no longer do it on their own. But between inquiry and action, another part takes over - the one that fears vulnerability, or is not yet ready to surrender control, despite the inner turmoil.

Following through - actually showing up for the first session - requires a kind of courage that’s often unfamiliar to those who are otherwise confident and competent. When your identity has been built around composure, effectiveness, and high achievement, vulnerability can feel like a risk you simply can’t afford. Especially when your performance, leadership, or image is on the line.

Even when things aren’t working as well as they used to, there’s a strange comfort in the familiar. The nervous system often prefers the pain we know to the uncertainty we don’t. So we cling to old patterns, even if they’re hurting us. Even if some part of us knows they’ve run their course.

Therapy and executive coaching, when done well and provided by qualified practitioners, are unfamiliar terrain. They don’t offer quick fixes. Instead, they invite you to look beneath the surface: at the emotions, belief systems, and relational dynamics that quietly shape your life. And that kind of introspection can feel threatening, especially when you've survived by staying several steps ahead of your feelings.

There’s also the question of stigma. Even today, many high performers still carry a conscious or unconscious belief that seeking support implies weakness: that therapy means something is “wrong.” But the truth is, therapy and coaching aren’t just for moments of breakdown. They’re tools available for anyone committed to investing in living a healthier, more conscious and sustainable personal and professional life.

And no, the first session won’t fix everything. But it’s not meant to. What it can do is mark a shift and offer the first step on a new path. Maybe now, you’re ready to take that next step.